Troubleshooting
I hate this computer
We know. We’ve all been there, glaring at a spinning wheel while a deadline sails past. Before you hurl it into the canal, let’s see if it can be saved.
$ diagnose --laptop --mood=furious
> Scanning... found 83 browser tabs, 14 startup apps, 2 years without a restart.
> Recommendation: breathe.
Stage 1: free fixes (try these first)
- Actually restart it. Not close the lid. Restart. Sleep isn’t a reboot, and pending updates often slow everything down until you do.
- Count your tabs. Every browser tab uses memory. If you have more tabs than you have teeth, that’s the problem. Bookmark and close.
- Tame startup apps. On Windows, open Task Manager → Startup apps and disable anything you don’t need at boot. On a Mac, check System Settings → General → Login Items.
- Free up storage. A nearly full drive makes everything crawl. Aim to keep at least 15–20% free. Empty Downloads (you don’t need that 2019 printer driver).
- Run updates. Operating system, drivers and browser. Yes, even the one you’ve been postponing since spring.
- Check for nasties. Run your built-in security scan (Windows Security or your Mac’s built-in protections) and remove toolbars and “PC optimisers” you don’t remember installing.
- Plug it in and check power mode. Many laptops throttle hard on “battery saver”. Set Windows power mode to Balanced or Best performance when plugged in.
- Clean the vents. Dust makes laptops hot, and hot laptops slow themselves down. A gentle blast of compressed air (with the laptop off) can work wonders.
Stage 2: cheap fixes
- Swap a hard drive for an SSD. If your laptop still has a spinning hard disk, this is the single best upgrade in computing. It can feel like a new machine.
- Add RAM if your model has a free or replaceable slot. Going from 4GB to 8GB or 8GB to 16GB can transform multitasking. Check first: many modern laptops have soldered memory.
- Replace a tired battery. If it only lasts 40 minutes, a new battery may be much cheaper than a new laptop.
- Reset it. Back up everything, then do a clean reinstall or factory reset. It removes years of accumulated junk.
Stage 3: is it time to upgrade?
Replace it if…
- It can’t run a supported, security-updated operating system (for example, Windows 10 support ended in October 2025, and many older PCs can’t officially run Windows 11).
- It’s a Chromebook past its automatic update expiry date.
- Repairs would cost more than about half the price of a decent replacement.
- It has 4GB RAM soldered to the board and you use Windows.
- You’ve done everything above and you still want to throw it.
Keep it if…
- An SSD or RAM upgrade is possible and cheap.
- It’s only slow in one app (that’s probably the app).
- It still gets security updates and does what you need.
- The problem is Wi-Fi. Test another device first – it might be your router.
Done with it? Recycle responsibly
Back up your files, sign out of your accounts, then wipe it with a factory reset. Many retailers offer trade-in or recycling schemes, and local council recycling centres accept electricals. Please don’t actually throw it in the canal.